It has been a long time since I posted something on this blog. I still visit back every now and then to read and recapture my sweet moments. Time after time, I have been unable to write because I do not wish to plunge this sacred place into total eclipse of darkness. I guess this is what so call writer block. But here I am, being confused or rather dumbfounded, wondering why some people had to make others live in misery. Was it the nuisance talk or was it just me being vulnerable, something really irritates me. Winter comes early this year, the chill is definitely not foreign to what I felt on my left chest. Maybe I am just physically exhausted to cause me losing all my appetite and strength. But what really mocking me is I am heartbroken by someone that shares my bloodline. Smiling is difficult when you know your foes have been anticipate your fall and ready to step on your pride, like squashing ants to ashes, tearing you down to nothingness. Sigh, I really want to make my parents proud so they can have their chins up and backs straight in front of everyone. If only I am brave enough to tell my feelings to them or even someone I can trust, or to my brothers. Someday, someway, somehow.. I'll work my butt to the top and tell all the haters to shut the f** up! If only I am braver..